CORDOBA BY ALLAMA IQBAL

CORDOBA

 By ALLAMA IQBAL

I

Chain of day and night
Creator of events
Foundation of life and death
Two-toned silken thread
Weave of attributes
Pitch of future prospects
Chain of day and night
Sitting in judgment
Setting a value upon us
Whenever we're lacking
Death, your destiny
Death, my destiny
What else is reality?
The pulse of an age
Neither day nor night
All crafts vanish
Black and white blur
Annihilation, the end

II

And yet in this form
Hues of eternal life
Splendor of man's love
Love, life's foundation
Death has no claim on love
Love, the tide
Stemming the torrent
Love, the nameless eras
Love, Gabriel's breath
Love, the Prophet of God
Love, the Word of God
Love, the radiant rose
Love, the transcendent wine
Love, the goblet of kings
Love, life's music
Love, the passion for life
Love, the fire of life

III

O, Mosque of Cordoba
Born of love with no past
Color or mortar or stone
Lyre or song or speech
Man's passionate creation
A drop of blood turns
Stone to beating hearts
The heart's cry is joy
Illumination and melody
You brighten my heart
My song wells up in my breast
You draw man's heart
Into the presence of God
But the passion of love
For God is man's alone
I ignite man's passion
Though his sight is finite
His heart's more expansive than the sky
So what if God desires, rules?
He doesn't earn the pain!
I am an Indian infidel
Witness my fervor
In my heart, prayers
On my lips, blessings
Love is my flute
Love, my song
In my every bone
"God is God"

IV

Witness of man's worth
Your glory mirrors his soul
Stone columns soar
Palms freshen Syrian sands
Sinai's roofs gleam
Gabriel crowns the minaret
A Muslim can never despair
Standing where Prophets once stood
His horizon infinite
Tigris, Danube, Nile flood his veins
Cup-bearer, stallion-rider
In love, a warrior
A sword's shadow his armor
"There is no god but God"

V

You reveal man's destiny
The ardor of his days
The dissolution of his nights
His submission
Is to God's hand
As is the believer's
Man prospers according to his deeds
He is clay and fire
Divine within
Free of both worlds
His ambition, small
His purpose, immense
Pure-hearted in peace and war
God's compass revolves
Around man's faith
Yet the world is illusion
The man of God is reason's horizon
The harvest of love
The fire of the ingathering
Heaven's passion

THE TULIP OF SINIA

THE TULIP OF SINIA

By Allama Iqbāl

1

My heart is bright, from burning inwardly.
My eyes weep blood, for all the world to see.
Am I the fool, or is it only he
Who calls all Love mere wild insanity!

3

Love grants the garden soft breezes of May.
Love teaches the meadow sunflowers to be gay.
Love rockets bright rays even into the deep
So that fishes' schools can find their way.

4

Love reckons the price of eagles cheap.
Love surrenders pheasants to the falcons’ steep
Murderous dives. Our offended hearts weep
till suddenly, out of ambush, Love leaps!

5

Love paints the tulip petals’ hue.
Love stirs the spirit’s bitter rue.
And, should you could cleave this carrion of clay,
You would behold Love’s bloodshed too.

7

A spent scent in a garden: hopes expire.
I know not what I seek, no, nor require.
But whether I am satisfied, or starved,
Still here I burn: a martyr to desire.

13

How long, my heart, will you be like the moth,
Infatuated with a bit of cloth
Or winking flame? Just once, my foolish heart,Be fully consumed in yourself, or depart

COAL TO DIAMOND

COAL TO DIAMOND

By Allama Iqbāl after Nietzsche

My flesh is so vile, I am less than dust
while your brilliance out-blazes the mirror's heart.
My darkness defiles the chafing-dish
before my cremation; a miner's boot
tramples my cranium; I'm covered with ashes.

Do you know my life's bleak essence?
Condensations of smoke, black clouds stillborn
from a single spark; while in feature and nature
starlike, your every facet's a splendor,
gleam of the King's crown, the scepter's jewel.

"Please, friend, be wise," the diamond replied,
"assume a gemlike dignity! Carbon must harden,
to fill one's bosom with radiance. Burn
because you are soft. Banish fear and grief.
Be hard as stone, be diamond."

FICTION

FICTION

By Allama Iqbāl

"Why didn't you make me immortal?"
Beauty asked God, perplexed.

God, vexed, said "The world is a fiction
fashioned from emptiness.

You were born bright, ever-changing:
true beauty is transient, estranging."

The moon overheard their discord,
beamed it on to the morning star

who whispered dawn's clouds their dark secret
till the dew heard it all, formed a tear,

and drenched all the shivering rose petals
(now survived by the hardier nettles).

THE AGE OF INFANCY

THE AGE OF INFANCY

By Allama Iqbāl

The earth and sky remained unknown to me
The expanse of my mother's bosom was my only world

Her every movement communicated life's pleasures to me
Yet my own voice conveyed only meaningless words

During infancy's pain, if someone made me cry
The clank of the door chain would comfort me

Oh! How I stared at the moon those long, lonely hours,
Regarding its silent journey through broken clouds

I would ask repeatedly about its mountains and its plains
Only to be surprised by some prudent lie

My eye was devoted to seeing, my lips to speech
My heart was inquisitiveness personified

FIREFLY

FIREFLY

By Allama Iqbāl

A candle among roses
In the evening garden
A shooting star
A flash of the moon's gown
A spark of the sun's hem
In syncopated eclipse

Emissary of day
In night's dark kingdom
Unseen at home
Lucid in exile
Opposite of the moth
The firefly is light

BRIGHT ROSE

BRIGHT ROSE :

BY Allama Iqbal

You cannot loosen the heart's knot;
perhaps you have no heart,
no share in the chaos

of this garden, where I yearn (for what?)
but harvest no roses.
Of what use to me is wisdom?

Having abandoned the garden,
you are at peace, while I remain anxious,
disconsolate in my terror.

Perhaps Jamshid's empty cup
foretold the future, but may wine
never satisfy my mouth,

till I find you in the mirror

O,COLORFUL ROSE!

O,COLORFUL ROSE!

By Allama Iqbāl

You are not troubled with solving enigmas
O, beautiful Rose! nor do you have sublime feelings in your heart

Though you ornament the assembly, still you flower apart
(In life's assembly I am not permitted such comforts)

In my garden I am the complete orchestra of longing
While your life is devoid of love's passionate warmth

To pluck you from the branch is not my custom
(I am not blinded by mere appearances)

O, colorful rose this hand is not your tormentor
(I am no callous flower picker!)

I am no intern to analyze you with scientific eyes
Like a lover, I see you with nightingales' eyes

Despite your innumerable tongues, you have chosen silence
What secrets, O Rose, lie concealed in your bosom?

Like me you're a leaf from the garden of Ñër
Far from the garden I am, far from the garden we both are

You are content, but I am a scattered fragrance
Pierced by the sword of love in my quest

This turmoil within me might be a means of fulfillment
This torment, a source of illumination

My frailty might be the beginning of strength
My envy might mirror the cup of divination

My constant vigil is a world-illuminating candle
And teaches this steed, the human intellect, to gallop

TARIQ'S PRAYER ( IN THE BATTLEFIELD OF ANDALUSIA)

BY ALLAMA IQBAL 

These victorious, these mysterious parishioners of yours;
to whom you bequeath godly-taste!

Who Cleaves desert-o-river in twain;
their terror turns mountain in to a mote!

They care not of both the worlds;
strange is the taste of pleasure!

Martyrdom is require-o-requisite by the believers;
neither wealth nor celebration!

Rose been waiting since long on flowers’ couch;
wanted color of Arabs’ blood!

You’ve united desert living tribes;
in thoughts, in deeds, in morning prayers!

Desire of which life needed since centuries;
that lament was found in them!

Ennobling-hearts are fully cognizant-with;
death isn’t an end of life in their eyes!

Make alive again in the hearts of Muslims;
that power; which was in the slogan of ‘La-Tazar’!

La-Tazar (Verse 26 of Surah Nuh- No. 71 – Quran)

Awaken iron-will in their hearts;
and make eyes of Muslim like a sword!

GUIDE FOR ALL WOMEN

GUIDE FOR ALL WOMEN :

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: 

I'M HUNGRY.
I'm hungry. 

I'M SLEEPY.
I'm sleepy. 

I'M TIRED.
I'm tired. 

I'VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. 

WHAT'S WRONG?
I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this. 

WHAT'S WRONG?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
I liked it better before. 

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
$50 and it doesn't look that much different! 

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair! 

LET'S TALK, HONEY.
I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. 

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. 

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks. 

LIST OF REDNECK COMPUTER TREMS

LIST OF REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS :

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.

Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern.

Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick.

Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.

Cache - Needed when you go to da store.

Chip - Yer cusin's uncle's mother's boyfriend's name.

Terminal - Time to call da undertaker.

Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.

Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.

Diskette - A female Disco dancer.

Hacker - Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking.

Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

Mac - Big Bob's favorite fast food.

Megahertz - How your head feels after seventeen beers.

Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.

Mouse pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.

Rom - Where the pope lives.

Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

Serial port - A red wine you drink with breakfast.

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year.

Scsi - What you call your week-old underwear.

MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY

MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY:

Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited

ASTRONAUT

ASTRONAUT:

What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The space bar. Where would an astronaut park his space ship? A parking meteor! What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon. What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter. Why did the astronaut retire? He got spaced out! What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar! How do you know when Lisa Nowak is pissed? Just see if she's wearing diapers! What do you call a tick on the moon? A luna-tick Why are there no female astronauts on the moon? Because it doesn't need cleaning yet. What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon? An ass throw nut (astronaut). How do you know when the moon has enough to eat? When it’s full. How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats! Why don't people like the restaurant on the moon? Because there was no atmosphere. How did Lisa Nowak feel after driving 900 miles in a diaper? Like one of Britney Spears kids! Why did the cow go in the spaceship? It wanted to go to the mooooooon! Why did the baby go to outer space? To visit the milky way. What does an astronaut use to keep his feet warm? A space heater. Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands! How do you know when the moon is going broke? When it's down to its last quarter. How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry? He Apollo-gises. If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? Hi, im an Astronaut and my next mission is to go to URANUS 

ARMY BRATS

ARMY BRATS :

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could." 

MICHEL AND JOHN

 MICHEL AND JOHN :

One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news." God said. Michel looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you. One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with John. The other organ is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children." Michel, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God then looked upon Michel, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." 

20 BLIND MEN

20 BLIND MEN :

Two fraud men go up to 20 blind men and say "Do you want to go on holiday?" The blind men reply "yeah of course" So the blind men give the fraud men £2000 each. The fraud men drive them up to blackpool and put them on the beach, and then go to the pub, Whilst there they think that the blind men are going to get bored. So they buy them a ball and give it to them. The blind men go "Whats this?" "Its a ball," replies one of the fraud men "Well we cant see it!" The fraud men think shit what we gonna do, they spot a donkey with bells round its neck so they go and buy sum bells and wrap them round the ball, and then go back the pub. Just then an old woman walks in and says "I tell you what the world today its demented" "Why?" ask the fraud men. "Because theres 20 blind men kicking shit through a donkey on the beach!" 

A MAN IS ALMOST ABOUT TO DIE

A MAN IS ALMOST ABOUT TO DIE : 

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

KIDS AT THE WEDDING

KIDS AT THE WEDDING:

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

ORGANIZATION THAT MAKE FEAR MARRIAGE

ORGANIZATION THAT MAKE FEAR MARRIAGE :

The RUSSIAN  had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in RUSSIA , they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack

WEDDING TRADITION

WEDDING TRADITION :

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

HAPPY MARRIED

HAPPY MARRIED  :

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. --

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. 

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Well man died unmarried four years ago.

MARRIAGE JOKE

MARRIAGE JOKE :

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- 

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted

MARRIED JOKE

MARRIED  JOKE :

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere

MARRIAGE JOKE

MARRIAGE JOKE :

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES :

Knock Knock.

 Who's there? 

Butch, Jimmy and Joe. 

Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?

 Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's

 Joe.

 Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Opportunity. 

Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice! 

Knock, Knock! 

Who’s There? 

Buster! 

Buster who? 

Buster Cherry! 

Is your daughter home?

 Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Orange Orange

 who?

 Orange you going to answer the door? 

Knock knock! 

Who's there? 

Dwayne! 

Dwayne who

? Dwayne the bathtub, I'm drowning. 

Knock, Knock! 

Who’s There?

 Dewey!

 Dewey who? 

Dewey have to use a condom? 

Knock Knock 

Who's There? 

Ahmed 

Ahmed who? 

Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. 

All of my change I spent on you. 

Knock Knock 

Who’s There? 

Ben Hur 

Ben Hur who? 

Ben Hur over and give it to her doggy style!

 Knock Knock

 Who’s There?

 Justin 

Justin who? 

Your justin time to wipe my @$$ !

TWO FACTORY WORKER

TWO FACTORY WORKER

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark

POLICEMAN

POLICEMAN:

A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?" “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well," says the policeman, "tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year,” and fines her five dollars. The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?” The policeman chuckles and replies, “He sure did!" “Well,” says the little girl, “next year, tell Santa the d*ck goes under the horse and not on it."

JOB INTERVIEW JOKE

JOB INTERVIEW JOKE:

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

GOOD NEWS JOKE

GOOD NEWS JOKE :

Sam and Thomas had been business partners for the past 50 years. They were in the wholesale clothing business and lately business was not as glorious as it had been. They had recently bought 400 polka dot dresses and no one seemed the slightest bit interested in them. 

                         After holding on to the dresses for almost a year, the two had piratically given up hope on them, when a middle aged women walked into their showroom. 

                         After seeing the dresses she was so excited about the polka dot design that she wanted to purchase all 400 dresses on the spot. 

                         Totally elated, Sam tried to play it cool and negotiated a great price with the women. When they were just about ready to close the deal she mentioned the she would need to get approval by her boss before continuing.

                         Being that it was close to the end of the day, she said she would phone them by 9:30 the next morning if there was a problem. Otherwise the deal would be on. After a sleepless night, Sam and Thomas stood anxiously by the phone the next day. At 9:28 the phone rang and Thomas breathlessly answered the call while Sam waited anxiously. “Good news!” Said Thomas. “It was your wife saying your mom just died!”

THE KEY TO HEAVEN

THE KEY TO HEAVEN:

Mother Superior called a young novice into her office one evening. ''Now dear, I want you to give the Father his nightly bath. You are to do as he tells you and be sure to report to me in the morning,'' she said. The novice agreed to do as she was told and went to prepare the Father's bath. Doing as she was told, the novice washed the Father's hair and back. While she was doing this the Father told the novice that he had the key to heaven. The Father told her that if his key to heaven fit her gate, she would be saved.

The next morning the novice entered Mother Superior's office.

''So how did it go last night dear? He didn't try anything on you, did he?'' she asked.

''Oh, Mother, it was wonderful! I did exactly as you told me to and when I was giving him his bath he told me the HE has the KEY TO HEAVEN! I was amazed, and he went on to tell me that if his key fit my gate, I would be saved. And Mother, his key FIT my gate! And it was the most beautiful thing in the world!''

And the Mother said, ''Damn that man! He told me it was Gabriel's horn and I've been blowing it for 40 years!''

MILLION

MILLION:

Man returns home and screams out loudly:
- Honey, pack your things, I've won million today!
Wife comes to the wardrobe and asks:
- What kind of clothes to take with me? Summer or winter?
Man:
- All of them and get out of here!

THE DIFFERENCE IN WORD

THE DIFFERENCE IN WORD :

One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:
- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?

Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question: 
- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife

Daddy turns to his teenage daughter: 
- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.

Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks: 
- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
Eldest son thinks a little and replies: 
- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.

Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him: 
- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay

HUSBAND AND WIFE

HUSBAND AND WIFE:

Wife: "How would you describe me?" 

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 

Wife: "What does that mean?"

 Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"