Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday 14 January 2015

MARRIAGE JOKE

MARRIAGE JOKE :

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- 

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES


KNOCK KNOCK JOKES :


Knock Knock.
 Who's there? 
Butch, Jimmy and Joe. 
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?
 Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's
 Joe.

 Knock Knock 
Who's there? 
Opportunity. 
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice! 

Knock, Knock! 
Who’s There? 
Buster! 
Buster who? 
Buster Cherry! 
Is your daughter home?

 Knock Knock 
Who's there? 
Orange Orange
 who?
 Orange you going to answer the door? 

Knock knock! 
Who's there? 
Dwayne! 
Dwayne who
? Dwayne the bathtub, I'm drowning. 

Knock, Knock! 
Who’s There?
 Dewey!
 Dewey who? 
Dewey have to use a condom? 

Knock Knock 
Who's There? 
Ahmed 
Ahmed who? 
Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. 
All of my change I spent on you. 

Knock Knock 
Who’s There? 
Ben Hur 
Ben Hur who? 
Ben Hur over and give it to her doggy style!

 Knock Knock
 Who’s There?
 Justin 
Justin who? 
Your justin time to wipe my @$$ !